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A woman’s perspective

April 4, 2009

Throughout my gaming experience, I’ve found that us females have always gotten the short stick for whatever reason, at least to start. I talked about being in Soul Calibur competitions in one of my earlier posts and how I was the only female in the advanced bracket. Dear lord, did I get hell for that. All the guys laughing and telling me I was in the wrong room and the beginner’s room was down the hallway. That all stopped the moment they realized I was just as good if not better than them. It’s interesting to see such negativity looming about towards female gamers. We should be mad at them for putting us down, right?

Nope, I’m mad at the female gamers.

I am absolutely fed up with the lack of brains most female gamers have. Most. Not all. There are a small handful of female gamers in WAR right now that I respect and tolerate while the rest make me facepalm. I’m not here to name names, that’s not the point of this post. The point is to show the things female gamers do, not just in WAR but in other games, that make the rest of us look bad.

Back to WoW for a moment, in our last guild there were a couple of female players who couldn’t do anything but flirt when they were online. I really am not in the position to say that flirting is bad, seeing that’s how Pancakez and I got together, but these women would flirt with every other person who logged in. Hell, one of them at one point had a small cult following, half of them being madly in love with her. The sad part about all of this was that they were both taken. A bit after we had left WoW, I had heard from some members of the guild that said woman with the cult following blew up at the guild leader (also a female) and claimed that the leader was too emotional to run a guild and women should never be leaders. She ended up leaving, taking half the guild with her, and made a new guild where she was guild leader and her prized harem of men were her officers.

Yeah, that lasted about a month or so before she threw another hissy fit, disbanded the guild, and left.

Go back even further in our WoW career and we had one guild with another female leader, who was sexually manipulating the other officers. You know that private channel in vent for officers? Yeah, that was usually the sex channel in that guild which included a cam show, according to sources.

Now I’m over here, twitching my eye, and going crazy because I do not understand the mentality of being like that in a game. It’s like people are too lazy to go out to a bar or club. And here’s the thing. All the players I mentioned above were all horrible. They weren’t known for kicking ass, but for having theirs smacked around. I would like to think that if you want to be that much of a slut online, you should take it to a more social game, like Second Life. People normally don’t pick up something like WAR and go, “Yeah, I’m gonna get lucky tonight!”

Next topic, which is females being way more visually than they are. They’ll usually play something because it’s pretty or fashionable or sexy. I personally think my Blackguard all geared up in plate armor is hawt, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I don’t know too many girls in WAR that Greenskin or Chosen or Marauder or Slayer. And if I am mistaken and there are a crap ton of you out there, then shout out loud and proud, because you kick ass. Why do I bring these classes up? Because there are no female options for them.

There are some long ass posts out there about how female players should be able to play any career as a female or shouldn’t be able to. Lore aside, who the hell freaking cares? You are playing a game where you smash faces and pwn noobs and you’re worried about if your character has boobs or not? There might as well be a feature for female characters to break their nails in the middle of combat. Seriously, I don’t care what career or gender you are (in real life or in game). If you can play well, that’s all that matters. If you want a game that’s more about visuals, play something else. And I don’t want to hear anymore “I can’t relate with my character if it’s a male” nonsense. People that attached to their characters to the point where they have to relate to them are probably bound to be horrible in game.

Now people will probably ask me if I’ve ever had any male character. The answer is I’ve had a few, but it’s predominately female. Why? It’s not because I can relate to my character or they look pretty in their new robes. Unlike a lot of other females, I have a male mindset where I prefer to stare at a hot piece of ass over a male one. And now moving along…

The last thing that aggravates me is that I feel people do not take female gamers seriously. I’ve seen a bunch of people mention our blog somewhere and praise the both of us. That’s great, except the only praise I get is “she’s a girl and gives an added twist on posts.”

Come again?

Just because I’m female automatically means I have a different opinion than the rest of the gamers? That’s truly news to me. I tend to disagree with most female gamers and agree with more male gamers. Ask Pancakez himself, especially when we met. He originally thought I was a guy because I played better than most female gamers he came across. I don’t know what stuff you’re reading or hearing from female gamers that makes you think all females have a different perspective, but as far as I’m concerned there is NO difference between my general opinion and a male’s general opinion in the game.

I don’t even pitch the concept on this blog that I’m a female so therefore the posts are unique. We pitch the concept that we’re a couple who kick ass and share our experiences together, so therefore the posts are unique. I tend to not make a big fuss over people saying I’m female and that shows in my posts, but I’m certain if Pancakez and I never brought who was who gender-wise, people would probably never know. So if you’re coming here and reading posts because hur hur I’m a female, I’m here to inform you right now that you’re not going to find anything different in my posts from most male posts. What are you guys expecting from female gamers to do, complain about our periods halfway through a raid?

The female community is just doing all of this to themselves and because of that other players treat us the way they do. I’m even getting sick of the label “girl gamer.” I’m not a 12 year-old punk, I’m an educated adult who plays the game occasionally during my journey to graduation. I would like to think that there is no difference between men and women in games and those who are so dedicated to the game should just be called gamers. It’s the morons I mentioned above that deserve the title girl gamer.

For those of you who are not girls and have grown up to become women, I hope we can show that we can rock just as hard as, if not better than, the rest of the community.


22 Comments leave one →
  1. pancakez permalink*
    April 4, 2009 12:33 pm

    I have to say, I’ve played games with far too many girls and not nearly enough women. Probably why I miss playing with your sister; when I spoke out of turn during raids she’d pimp slap me and remind me I wasn’t the leader. It’s kind of funny, I remember almost every good female gamer I’ve played with, or met — probably because it’s been so rare. Makes me sad because the ones I have met put most guys to shame. I remember doing the podcast over at WHA and Kristen right there throwing ideas around. Awesome.

    It’s so silly that people let body parts get in the way.

  2. April 4, 2009 6:10 pm


    Now, this is what *I* mean when I say I like to read posts by a female gamer for different perspective. The fact is their perspective is exactly the same as mine – they *get* it. I love the fact that you are female and that it doesn’t matter (which you keep pointing out) – what matters is there is only gamer.

    I know a handful of female gamers. I also know a handful of the female types that also happen to play MMO’s. The difference is perspective, ability and nausea generation is astounding.

  3. Omelettez permalink*
    April 4, 2009 7:35 pm

    @Pancakez. Yeah, she put you in your place back when we raided. She probably put everyone in their place. I miss playing with her.

    @Wafflez. Thanks a bunch! I’m glad that I wasn’t just talking to a wall when I wrote this up. Trust me, I’ll keep being gamer until the day I die.

  4. April 7, 2009 12:41 am

    OK, I don’t agree about character gender. Most players (male and female) prefer to play characters of the same gender. It’s just as true of the hardcore as for casuals, and I don’t see why women need to be any different there. Why shouldn’t we enjoy the same things as guys, such as creating cool-looking characters the same gender as we are? Why are we so often forced to play toons that are designed to look hawt to adolescent males?

    We play them, because it’s the only game in town.

    Great rant though! And I agree that female fighters in platemail are totally badass (shame it took WAR so long to provide any ….)

    You also hit on my pet peeve which is players who are so ‘omg I’m a GURL!!!’ and blogs that have the world girl or female in the title. It’s like if you ended each post with ‘DID I MENTION THAT I HAVE BOOBS?!” which come to think of it, would be quite amusing.

  5. April 7, 2009 4:59 am

    I don’t think people want to necessarily play characters that are the same gender they are. This post for instance, written by War Lady (EU) discusses males who play female toons… and I know of a ton of them.

    Personally, I don’t care what gender my toons are, as long as I enjoy playing them and am successful in the role I’m required to fill. I have a R40 female Zealot, a R40 Squig Herder and a R40 Shaman, and I love playing all of them. (When I played Order, my R40 RP was male as well.)

    I will say though, that MOST (not all) female gamers I know that happen to feel the same way I do are some of the best gamers I have met… not the best FEMALE gamers… the best gamers overall. They play what they enjoy and what they are good at without the gender of their virtual avatar limiting their play choices. In fact, two Chosen on my server (Burghur and Ducatii) are played by females, and are AMAZING players who fall into that category.

    Playing a shaman as my main now (since I retired my Zealot) and being the guild leader of a R31 guild, I’m often mistaken for being male. It’s a little annoying, sure, but for the most part it doesn’t bother me anymore. I’m here to kill Order, not mince over applying our RL standards and mores to a virtual environment set on a nonexistent plane of an alternate universe. πŸ™‚

  6. April 7, 2009 6:13 am

    That’s fine, but most people still prefer characters who are the same gender as they are. Here’s the survey results that Nick Yee did about that with EQ players

    So 2 Chosen on your server are played by women, I’m sure you can see that isn’t really a big statistic.

    I know a fair number of female players who are good (ie. more than 2 :P). I don’t think they are any more likely to pick male avatars than poor players, and all of them play female mains.

  7. April 7, 2009 6:17 am

    Also, War Lady’s post explains pretty clearly why she doesn’t like playing male toons. She guesses at why men might play crossgender but she hits on the main reason people don’t — I tend to get deeply involved in the world being presented cause in the end that toon is builded by me.

    Anyhow, I honestly never meant to get into an argument. I think it’s a subject lots of female players feel strongly about, and that’s great! I love playing with female gamers who take the game seriously and play it well. Not so fond of female players who spend more time trying to manipulate the guys than just playing the damned game πŸ™‚

  8. Omelettez permalink*
    April 7, 2009 7:53 am

    While I’d like to say a lot of people don’t care about the gender of their character, I see so many people talking about it, so it’s hard to nail the idea that it doesn’t matter to anyone in my head. And I agree with Vindaloo… wait, crap, you changed your name… IT’S VINDALOO. Anyhow, with what she said about just wanting to kill Order. I just want to kick ass and I see too many girls complaining about and doing things that make me go, “Come again?”

  9. April 7, 2009 9:15 am

    I actively play female chars in games because I’ve been a female gamer for 20+ years (PnP and online) and it’s about fecking time we represented. I’ll argue for female versions of classes (granted WAR is a somewhat special case) because I’m tired of the male-centric design of MMOs and fantasy in general — so I challenge that. Challenging that isn’t me pushing out my tits and saying “notice me, notice me” (there are a lot less of those than you say btw, they’re just very “noisy” πŸ˜‰ ), it’s me saying we represent more than half the human race and I’m damned if I’m going to play something that does nothing but show guys. It’s a matter of principle.

    Exploring gender issues isn’t being weak and Barbara Cartlandish. But hey, your mileage and mine. That’s why we all have blogs.

  10. April 7, 2009 10:39 am

    Do we need to be represented? I think so. Is demanding there be more female options for us to settle with the way to go? I sure as hell think not. Our actions and personality should speak more than what gender our character is. I think the so-called gender issue within the gaming community is self-inflicted to some extent.

    And I’ve played plenty of games, may it be PnP, online, console-based, or in arcades, and I see way more people “pushing out their tits and saying ‘notice me, notice me'” than I do people who actually just want to play a good game.

    Seriously, I think it’s ridiculous to talk about needing to represent the fact we’re women in a game. I sure don’t care. I just want to play the game. If I have to play a male character to do so, then I will. We shouldn’t have to look down or up to people because they’re male or female. We should do it based on how good of a player they are.

  11. April 7, 2009 10:52 am

    I’m really glad I read this, thanks Omelettez! My wife and I play WAR together, and we completely understand what you’re talking about. Right now, one of her big beefs is with a female from our old server (won’t name names) who used to get all the attention and thanks and praise, simply because she would talk sexy in vent and get the guys all riled up. Meanwhile my wife, who this other person could only wish was half the healer my wife is, gets nothing because she stays quiet and concentrates on actually playing the game, and playing it well.

    She does, however, primarily play female characters because while she tries to play to her fullest potential, she also likes the aesthetics of female characters (I think she also has a bit of your mindset, she definitely prefers looking at a “hot piece of ass” on her character lol). Fortunately for us, she’s an amazing healer and gets the most satisfaction from playing that role, and every healing archetype in WAR (sans the Shaman) has both male and female options.

    Ah well, such is life. The attention seekers get what they want, and all that’s left for the ones who play well is the satisfaction of a job well done. At least I can look over at my wife and tell her what a great job she’s doing, and know that she appreciates it.

  12. April 7, 2009 11:02 am

    @Omelettez — I completely agree, it *shouldn’t* be about tits (or lack thereof) and pushing them out. Fact is though, it is. And while male gamers continue to be idiots (as you so aptly describe in the article), I will continue to challenge.

    That bias and intolerance shouldn’t exist seems self-evident, but history shows in thousands of examples that self-evident is usually only so after the fact. (Gender is only one of those — another obvious one is race, then you have religion, etc etc etc.)

    I would still maintain, too, that the “let’s just get the F on with it and play” women seem to be in the minority because they’re just getting the F on with it and playing, rather than attempting to find some kind of morphology-based limelight. I know what you mean about there seeming to be nothing but that kind of female player, but from the women I’ve met in many games, I think we’re just less noticeable because we’re not thrusting our boobiez out all the time. Maybe I’m just an optimist. πŸ˜€

  13. Omelettez permalink*
    April 7, 2009 7:32 pm

    I really don’t want to bring history of intolerance, mainly because I feel it’s irrelevant. In the gaming community, I truly feel it’s women doing all of this to themselves and not some outside force. It’s not even entirely the male community versus the female community. To me, it seems more like women versus women. My point originally wasn’t to bring up equality issues with men and women when women flirt around and get what they want even though they’re horrible. My point was that women who do indeed do this are stupid and make the rest of us gals look bad, just by association of boobies. Has nothing to do with guys.

    Also, funny story, I threatened Pancakez once with my boobies to get loot, but that’s completely off topic and wicked funny, though I think I’d get pummeled with something if I went into detail D=

  14. pancakez permalink*
    April 7, 2009 7:34 pm

    ^ She got the loot…

  15. April 8, 2009 4:53 pm

    All Mr. Yee’s survey shows me is that there is a roughly 4% difference in the number of men who play male characters over female characters, thus your argument only holds true for females. Apparently theyre the only one’s who really care about what gender their characters are.

    I mentioned two Chosen… do you think this means those are the only two I know? I also know countless Greenskins, including Black Orcs and Choppas, not just goblins, and even a Marauder.

    Let’s just put it this way: I have never met a female who played a male character that was bad at the game. I have, however, met MANY females who play female characters who are godawfully terrible.

    Side note: Omelettez- I was reading our realm forums, and came upon a girl like the type you mentioned in your post– overly flirtatious, sexy pictures in her album, just generally over the top obnoxious. She just started posting recently, and let me tell you… she’s already derailed a couple threads and the guys are lapping it up like syrup. Disgusting.

  16. April 8, 2009 4:53 pm

    Damnit, how’d I let a typo get by in my own name?!

  17. Omelettez permalink*
    April 8, 2009 4:59 pm

    Ugh, girls like that make me facepalm! D=< *shakes fist*

    I also agree with the part about men not seeming to really care about what gender they play. I rarely see guys make posts going, “Omg, gaiz, my character doesn’t have a dick, what am I gonna do? I can’t tank now, gawd…”

  18. pancakez permalink*
    April 8, 2009 5:21 pm

    Not that I matter, but I have several female characters… not because ‘zomg boobies’ though, I just find the animations of some models better than other. Male Orc Rogue? I had one, I looked retarded. I wish I’d made him female, just so that when I used stealth I didn’t look like a gorilla. The one that I’ve noticed though is actually that a lot of serious female gamers prefer male characters to avoid stereotypes and be taken more seriously. Probably part of why you’ve seen such an increase in skill level when looking at women who play male characters.

  19. April 9, 2009 6:04 am

    Yeah, that’s kinda what I was thinking.

    I’m a good Shaman. I was a good Zealot. I’m a good Squig Herder. I don’t care if my toon has boobs or reproduces via spores… I play what I like, not what has a virtual vajayjay.

  20. Sunphyre permalink
    April 9, 2009 7:19 pm

    I am so in love with this thread. My husband that you heard from earlier (Gehmnal) is right and that the *girls* and I do mean teenie boppers drive me crazy with what they accomplish and they really do suck at the game. I, even before my marriage and kid days, refused to pimp myself out for loot. Sure I made friends online most male and some I even still have and talk to since my days of playing Diablo, but that’s just it I made friends and didn’t just say look at me I’ve got boobs now give me stuff!! I prefer to prove my worth and the fact that I can play and play well. Most are in the end really surprised to learn that I am a female when and if I actually ever say anything in vent.

    I do prefer to play female characters but that’s mainly for my own pleasure, I would rather look at a hot ass then a green one!

    I am an extremely intelligent female with a full time job in the legal field, a mother of 3 and a wife. But in the game I chose not to advertise this because for the most part such a female gamer do not exist (or so most of the gaming community believes), so instead I choose to stick to playing with my husband and a mutual real life friend and wait till someone proves themself to me before I open up. Also I am for the first time playing on a role playing server and finding it rather amusing to be whatever I want and at the moment thats a somewhat snooty High Elf Archmage.

    Either way it is nice to meet other females in the game who feel the same way I do and are fed up with the useless *boobs* who call themselves gamers.



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