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It’s not about how big your e-peen is, it’s how you stroke it

February 13, 2009

In today’s world, everyone is obsessed with more, may it be buying a bunch of worthless crap in bulk or wanting objects that we don’t need. That manages to trickle over into MMOs. Players become wrapped up in more gold, more gear, more everything. One thing that jumps out is the need to have more numbers. And by numbers, I specifically mean healing numbers in scenarios.

Healers, cough it up. How many posts in the forums have you seen with people stroking their e-peen about their awesome healy numbers they got in one scenario. Or cry and bitch about others healing better, when the others are just DoKs facerolling their keyboard to spam AoE heals. And nevermind the forums, I’ve seen people complain and boast in scenario and region chat. It all boils down to one question. Do those numbers really matter?

Yes and no.

And here I thought I would never do a post about numbers! Pancakez will be so proud. So let us go over all the components that make up this topic in detail.

People truly say the numbers don’t matter and that scenarios aren’t real RvR. Well guess what, PvE trains that do keep flipping isn’t real RvR either. At least scenarios involve killing people. For scenarios, it truly depends where you are and aren’t. If you’re following around the group that is slaughtering the opposite side and healing everyone, then yes, your number will go up and you will have proved yourself useful. If you’re with the ball holder and making sure he stays up, but there’s no action going on, your numbers won’t go up as much, but your still being useful.

If you are mashing your AoE heal button to heal and nothing else, your numbers will go up, but you are very likely NOT being useful. I’m not here to slam every DoK and WP player, but a vast majority of them do spam AoE heal due to the 1s cast time. Why is it not useful? A) you’re only healing your group, not the whole warband, and B) if one or two people are taking heavy focus damage in your group and no else is, it’s probably far more useful to do a direct heal and/or hot than keep spamming the AoE button.

AoE spam healing is usually how people get those ridiculously high numbers. Usually. Not always. So if the game ends and you see the top healers are DoKs and WPs with over 300k healing… yeah, now you’ll know why. AoE healing can be useful, like if everyone in your group isn’t taking heavy focus fire damage and you want to top them off.

Ok, now imagine a scenario where there are no AoE spam heals and your numbers still aren’t high. Before you go to forums to cry like an emo kid, think about the situation. If you were a lowbie healer for the tier and the rest of the healers were high ranked epic people, they might heal more than you. If you were dead for half the match because that annoying WH keeps jumping you, your numbers will probably drop. If everyone is camping the spawn point of the other team and you’re being slightly useful and defending the flag so no one ninjas it, your numbers will definitely drop. 

That in mind, you can still use the numbers to evaluate how well you’re doing. Say you do something like, Tor Anroc a bunch of times in a row, like about 5 times. You die the same amount in each scenario, give or take (damn you, lava!), all the matches last relatively the same amount of time, you stick with the group to heal. If your numbers are usually the same, then you’re either doing fine or need room for improvement, depending on the numbers. If they’re all over the place, then something must be up. Maybe you were chain rezing people the whole match or you were trying your best not to get knocked into the lava or the tanks kept LoSing you while you tried to get off a big heal. It all depends on situation. Instead of complaining about it, reevaluate the scenario and try to improve based on that. Maybe you need to move so you’re in range of the tank. Maybe you need to not stand on the edge, where you’re an easy target for lava golfing. Maybe you need to not rez that rank 20 WE because they’re doing crap damage and they’ll just die in 5 seconds anyways.

My theory on healing is that if no one dies, I’m doing a good job. We were never given the task to max out healing numbers. We were given the task to keep people alive. It’s all situational. If you’re in the right place at the right time and keep people up, then you’re good. If you’re in the right place at the right time and everyone dies, then you suck. So maybe my numbers are lower than Healer #876,214, but maybe I died less and rezed all the tanks and constantly healed them. People need to stop looking at numbers and think that the higher the number, the better. Just because something is in bulk doesn’t mean that it’s better. It may or may not be useful. It just depends how you use it.

On that note, I will leave you all with a small story back in my WoW days. Pancakez and I were in a raiding guild and there was this punkass mage who respecced Arcane at some point. He always raved about his DPS when they were published on WWS. So his DPS was way over 1k… on trash mobs that had to be AoEd down. He didn’t take into consideration that he went OOM every 2 seconds and died every other wave of mobs. Half the time he was dead before the boss came out. And then there was another dude, who was an MS warrior, and constantly complained that he wasn’t doing enough damage. First off, he was being far more useful then the two retard ret pallies, and second off, he was massively buffing the melee DPS by a crap ton. He, unlike Mr. E-Peen stroking mage, was useful.

It’s all about situation.


4 Comments leave one →
  1. pancakez permalink*
    February 13, 2009 11:24 am

    Here’s another story from our WoW past. We had a friend who also played a Ret Pally, back when they were almost useless. I don’t care how you feel about them, no utility and doing less DPS than tanks in melee gear means you suck. We were playing a WSG game and said friend got the flag. The other team also had our flag, after a while our friend got bored/pissed so the three of us went over to their base with their flag, killed their flag carrier and ran all the way back and capped. All the time our friend spamming yells and BG chat with ‘DON’T GET THE RET PALLY INVOLVED.’ He was playing a bad spec and was more useful than the other 5-6 people trying to get the flag back…. WHILE carrying our flag. I can write all day about how statistically one thing is better than another, but at the end of the day the top players are going to kick your butt, even if they’re using Dan in Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo (oh yeah, I went there).

  2. Ventris permalink
    February 13, 2009 1:06 pm

    Ah numbers.

    As a trend analyst my job entails me analyzing a bunch of numbers. We use said numbers to justify our existence. The problems is our worker bees tend to fixate on one prime measurement and loose sight of everything else. Sometimes management does to which is why I caveat all the metrix I pass on to them with, “Remember, this only tells part of the story.” I’ve found, in the two plus years I’ve been doing this, that it’s very hard to quantify ‘work’.

    Humans love to categorize things. We tend to pigeonhole things so as to be able to relate to the diversity of the world around us. Numbers are an easy, predetermined, quantifiable thing that we can impose upon the unknown in an attempt to quantify something that is probably not very quantifiable. It’s easy to fall into the trap of focusing on a known variable and ignoring other, just as important variables.

    Your theory, Omelettez, is spot on. Big heal numbers only tell part of the story. Keep in mind though, that it also shouldn’t be totally ignored but taken in context: Did that top healer also keep his/her team up? Rez while maintaining heals? Bake and frost a cake while doing the previous three? If so then there may be something to learn from that player. It’s also probably true that said player isn’t the one spamming the chat channels with, “ZOMG! U SEE MAH HEALZ! I RAWK!”

  3. Omelettez permalink*
    February 13, 2009 3:18 pm

    Dude, if I could bake and frost a cake while keeping top heals and rezing people, I’d do it all the damn time! Though pie would be better. I should look into that.

    But I agree. Everything is situational and the numbers need to be taken into context. The fact that people ignore the context and situations and go “hurhur, big numbers r GUD” and “scenarios aren’t real RvR nub” really irks me.

  4. Sunphyre permalink
    April 9, 2009 7:38 pm

    I agree numbers are not all they are cracked up to be. Being a healer (always) I must say that I do love to see my name at the top of the list but my husband is the only one that ever hears me yell “I’m number one!!!” and it does always depend on the situation.

    And just so you know I do it all while cleaning the house, playing with the kids and making a 5 course meal for my stumpy dwarf husband!!! 🙂

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